whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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