new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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