i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
A bitchslap is in order.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize