you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
