Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
