you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
