is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
