They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
