Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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