marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
