i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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