OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
