Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
