come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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