Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
