just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize