He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
