Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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