I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
