I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
