dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
