No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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