A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate all girls vehemently.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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