im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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