i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
