"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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