I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
