I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
