So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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