I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
