She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
