just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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