I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
