Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize