Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
