you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
