anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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