Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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