i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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