billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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