So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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