He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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