I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
