he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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