sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
