I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
