i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
