I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize