you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
