how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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