he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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