you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
