so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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