i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am mentally ready for anal.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize