I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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