hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
