You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
