just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
