its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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