Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
